Belated Thanksgiving Blessings

I forgot to give thanks yesterday. I'd like to blame it on the Pilgrim cake pops that I had been working on for a duration of 24 hours. Looking back on it, I just wanted to contribute something to our family events since I feel like all I do is eat. I definitely made them in the spirit of my cousin Jasmine who is studying in New York. She's always trying out something new and inventive. I can't wait for her return in December. Those aren't my cake pops pictured above, although I wish they were! There is so much that I am thankful for this year. I admit that I can tend to focus on the things that I don't have, but reflecting on this past year, I'm truly blessed to have everything in my life. I'm never left wanting with parents and family that are continually supportive, unconditional friendships, and unexpected blessings. Their presence fills a life with love, and enriching experiences. Beginning with my three important P's, here is what I am thankful for.

1) Parents- My pillars who push me to be constantly better than I am, and to always seek out new challenges. Thank you for your support in my professional endeavors. Thank you for always taking care of me even when I don't ask for it.

2) Primas/os - Although Jas is in New York, we can still somehow be as close as we always have been. I love our bonding times and hilarious moments, especially our "face time" with Jas. I'm thankful for all the times we get to shop, eat, and catch up on our busy lives.

3) PRIND - Near and far, I'm so thankful for our friendship that has lasted so long. I miss those who aren't close, but I cherish the times we can all be together. Thank you for always staying close to my heart. Thank you for always being there when I needed you the most. I love you all.

4)Irvine Ladies- Thank you for all the fun birthdays, holiday events, and surprises. I love going on adventurous whether planned or spontaneous with you. Thank you for enabling my curiosities in art, music, movies, food, etc. Thank you for your great friendships and bringing so much to discover on the table. Here's to many more adventures to come. I love you ladies. :)

9 Months Later....

"I may not change the world, but I guarantee I will spark the brain, that will change the world." -Tupac Shakur

I know its quite an unmanageable task to sum up the last nine months in one post, so I'll take on an easier feat of describing where I am in life, at this moment. After receiving my single subject credential in social science, I quickly began looking for a job for the following three months after student teaching ended. Edjoin appeared to be bleak despite the several posts for social science teachers. As a new teacher, its clear that I am at the bottom of the barrel behind teachers that have been laid off, and long term substitutes trying to get a foothold in the districts. I had known that this was going to happen even before I entered the credential program. New teachers had a better chance of getting a job if they moved out of state, or were willing to move to different parts of California period. Its tough out there, but I'm not one to lose hope or optimism. Everything happens for a reason it seems even if we may not know what it is right then and there. I made the committed decision to apply for my masters in secondary education, feeling as if I had not learned enough for the credential program. I needed to know more about what it meant to be a better teacher, since I was such a newbie at all of this. Plus I love learning, and I love research, especially if its about my students and my content area.

At the moment, I'm taking two grad classes -504 Advanced Proficiency in Technology, and 591 Seminar in Secondary Education. I am barely staying afloat with all of the reading. I really need to stop procrastinating on assignments, and get serious - the kind of serious I used to be while I was in the credential program. I suppose I feel a bit strange not having a class to teach anymore. It must be some kind of empty nest syndrome. I truly miss my students from last year. Some assignments for my grad classes require data taken from the entire class, but its not necessary to have your own class. You can use data from student teaching. I began looking at my old binder with seating charts, and started to feel really nostalgic. I missed being there, everyday, even if some days were struggles they were my struggles, and the next day would be a clean slate. That's probably what I love about teaching. Even though some things could never be erased or forgotten, you can always start the next day with a different approach for student progress.

"Nine tenths of education is encouragement." - Anatole France

Resolutions

February is in less than 24 hours, so I figure it may not be too late to post up my New Year's Resolutions. :)


1. Save money!
2. Excercise more! -Yoga, pilates, zumba, hiking 2-3 times a week.
3. Cook and bake more -Filipino, Italian, Southern, Mexican
4. Be more organized -re-model room, paint walls, organize closet, re-do carpet
5. Don't procastinate. Focus on the credential program. Focus on career!


Its crazy to think that in less than 5 months, assuming I survive, I'll receive my teaching credential. From now until then, I hope to be the best teacher and best person I could possibly be for my students. Here's to learning, loving, and teaching. :)

One Headlight

Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees- "One Headlight," The Wallflowers

"I don't know if we each have a destiny, or if we're all just floatin' accidental like on breeze." Maybe its both?" - Forrest Gump

This past week, I had found out that one of my former classmates had passed away. This was an acquaintance I went to elementary, junior high, and high school with. I didn't know her well, but I can't help but feeling sadness about someone I knew dying so young. When someone dies so young, its as if they stay that way forever almost like a vampire. She was my age, turning 26 in December as well which makes it even more surreal. Her death is suspected to be a homicide -a tragic ending. It makes me wonder what the future held for her if she lived. I guess those "what if" questions can drive a person crazy.

At the age of 25, I don't have a real grasp of the concept of death since no one close to me has died. My grandparents died when I was very young when I couldn't fully comprehend what was going on. I only remember my mother and aunts mourning for my grandfather, weeping while sharing memories in Tagalog as my dad carried a four year old (me) in his arms trying to be strong, trying to not break into tears as well. With the experience of death, people analyze their lives, wondering if they're living it to the fullest. Reading about her death in the San Gabriel Valley Tribune just made me think that this life is too short. As trite as that sounds, its a feeling that's to be expected. Jolts of "carpe diem" happen and you realize there's too much to accomplish before its all over. Questions like, are you living the life that you want, are you doing what you really want in this lifetime? scan through my brain. I can honestly say that I'm doing the things I love and I'm thankful to have more options than most.

The title of this blog is a Wallflowers song about death. The theme is blatantly morbid, but the lyrics are quite poetic. The story behind the song embodies much of what I've been feeling lately. "The lyrics tell a fragmentary story about a former friend and her death, and the singer's emotions in the aftermath. The use of strong words and images and the incomplete story have resulted in many different interpretations of the song, which include suicide, drug abuse, death of a lover, death of one's mother, and/or depression." (wikipedia)

Jakob Dylan, the lead singer and songwriter of The Wallflowers, has said that the song is about "the death of ideas" and that the many metaphors and images in the lyrics were not meant to be taken literally.

"Nothing is forever" is one line I always listen for. The only constant things in this life would be death and change. I wonder if tragedies such as these happen for a reason. I hope she loved her life. My prayers go out to her and her family. R.I.P. Michele Carson.

A Weekend of Overeating

I have been blessed with a fast metabolism. I pretty much weigh the same since high school, which makes it awfully difficult to gain weight. I know I shouldn't complain, but I still do my best to maintain good fitness and health. I'm pretty sure someday, my metabolism will slow down, and I'll wish I appreciated it more. I have a 24 hour fitness pass, and I try to go 2-3 times a week for yoga, pilates or lately, zumba.

Anyways, all that working out has been irrelevant this past weekend since all I did was eat delicious food. lol.

Saturday: My close friends and I went to our usual spot for dinner, Dumpling Master, located on Hacienda and Newton. They probably have the best fried dumplings I've ever had! It has the perfect crisp and taste with the addition of their soy sauce and red spicey sauce. Their fried rice, and fried Chinese style quesadillas are equally excellent. We then proceeded to Jungle in Yes Plaza which is an arcade/boba place. My friend, Dee, ordered this great chocolate boba drink which tasted exactly like a fudgicle. Those who know me well, know my addiction to all things chocolate so this was great! Good food and good company made for a chill and fun Saturday night.

Sunday: I had a meeting with my co-curators Lyn and Heather (of Pillow Thoughts) at Redondo Beach Cafe on PCH, which is owned by a Greek family. I got lost for about a good half an hour
-_- which is typical for me. I should really invest in a navi. Anyways, they had these amazing sweet potato fries cooked in honey and cinammon. I would have never thought to cook them in honey. I ordered their carrot cake to go since its my mom's favorite. To my surprise, Lyn brought me two dozen chocolate chews from Torrance Bakery. Chocolate chews are like a cookie/brownie hybrid (and they're pictured above). They're probably the best cookies I've ever had! I was very thankful and excited to bring them to my family. Back at Walnut, my family was a having a sort of surprise barbecue for Hector, who is married to my ate Jenn. We're big on celebrating birthdays, but we have never celebrated his until now. We had the usual Filipino food staples - chicken barbecue skewers, lechon with mang thomas sauce, camote tops with vinegar (get those vegetable servings in!), dumpling soup, etc. My mom made instant noodles (dry teriyaki noodles) for some reason as well. She said its a Filipino tradition to make noodles because it blesses the birthday celebrant with a long life. For dessert, there was ube ice cream, ben and jerry's chunky monkey, and java chip ice cream from Starbucks which were good compliments to the chocolate chews.

Monday: I know this is deviating from the title of this blog since it only refers to the weekend, but I guess I'm not finished talking about food. lol. There's this Italian place in Walnut Village called Bella Napoli's, which has the best pizza around. Their chicken pesto pizza is legendary! They're known for their white pizzas, which I'm assuming is mostly mozzzarella with very little red sauce, if any at all. My mom made sinigang for dinner which is this Filipino tamarind-based soup which is comforting on a cold night and also healthy.

Alright, I should start my lesson planning instead of procrastinating. I love delicious food if you can't already tell! I hope you try out any of these places (Dumpling Master, Jungle, Bella Napoli) if you're in the San Gabriel Valley area! =)

Today is the first day...

"Today is the first day of the rest of my life," is what someone said during our introductions. This was the only quote that stood out to me out of the sea of individual blurbs consisting of names, bachelor degrees, graduation dates, content areas, quirky facts, etc. I began the first day of the teacher credential program orientation this morning. We watched a short video about twelve employees at a fish market employing good attitudes towards each other and customers. This same attitude could be applied to teaching – making jobs like play time filled with fun and laughs. Perhaps it is true that your attitude determines your altitude in life. Surely enough, Dr. Ambrosetti managed to scare most of us, or that is the assumption I'm making from the expression on other people’s faces. I was pretty scared of what's to come. Apparently, in October, we're all going to want to quit. It’s nice to anticipate that feeling just to know what to expect, to be as prepared as possible and strong in the midst of obstacles.

It has been a journey to get here, and it really does feel like the first day of my professional life. I know now I truly do want to be a teacher. I want to make a positive difference in people's lives. I want to help them want to learn, and to find what they're passionate about in my classroom - even if it’s something simple like jazz music from the 1920's in U.S. history, or economics because of the stock market crash in 1929. I hope they enjoy learning in my classroom and keep an open mind to multiple perspectives. I will get the privilege to watch them grow, make mistakes, and learn from them for the long run. I'm curious to get to know my future students, their talents, passions, and evolving interests. I have always wanted to do something of service with my life, and I can't think of doing anything better than making a living on being a nerd. lol. In the summer, I’ll still get to pursue things I’m also passionate about like art, curatorial work, and writing. I’m learning that you can love many things, but the difficult part is finding a profession that fuses all of your passions. I think this is it, but who knows. Maybe in October I’ll be saying something different. Wish me luck!

Coming of Age

I can't seem to stop watching the film, (500) Days of Summer. I blame it on my shameless addiction to Joseph Gordon-Levitt, which was catalyzed by my viewing of the movie, Inception, twice. Inception is excellent, and I'd see for a third time.

I really do love this movie about 500 days in man's failed relationship. Its not the typical, formulaic romance/comedy, but a coming of age tale.

"We arrive at a different conclusion, for one thing. Plus, most romantic comedies are more loyal to a formula than to emotional truth. It's about happiness, and learning that you'll find it within yourself, rather than in the big blue eyes of the girl in the cubicle down the hall. I wanted to make an unsentimental movie and an uncynical movie." - director, Marc Webb

I'm single, in a sea of friends and relatives who are already married, or who have already seemed to have picked out their future husbands and wives. I could be cynical about that, but there really is no reason to be. Its easy to assume that finding "the one" could fill that void we feel in ourselves at times, when we don't have those last calls of the day, or texts in between breaks. Its cliche to say "you have to be happy with yourself before you make someone else happy," but its so true, and easier said than done. As much as I know I want to be married and have children someday, I'd rather work on a life I'd want to live for myself, than settle for anything less than the best in terms of companionship. I want that inner happiness before building anything great with someone else. Perhaps I may seem selfish to some extent, but its true. I only hope I can live up to these mottos.

Reflection

Despite all of the malevolent or semi-traumatic things that may occur, I remain the eternal optimist –thankful for so much love in my life, appreciative for all of the support of what I want to do, who I want to be, and devoted to always seeing life experiences in a positive light.

It’s the grand and enriching adventure that I constantly seek out. Its living life, knowing that I have amazing people that surround me who have been there for me through it all –bad, good, ugly, and joyous times. It’s the idea of constantly growing through life experiences and maturing into someone I’ve always wanted to be.

What I have is a rare and keeps me from being jaded and cynical about the world. I really hope that when I’m in my 30s, I can still enjoy life and constantly appreciate the people in it. I know the world can be a fucked up place, but I’d be miserable if I just constantly focused on the negative rather than the positive blessings that come my way.

Perhaps I am someone who is easily amused because I do like everything at first. I appreciate everything and am annoyingly positive sometimes. It’s my thing.

Bottom line is, I love PRIND. There are so many memories we’ve shared, and so many great times to come. We keep it young and fun. We don’t have to do anything big to have a good time because it is indeed the great company that you keep that makes for wonderful memories.

Dream Job

After I graduated college in 2008, I just wanted to work at an art museum. Preferably the Norton Simon Museum in Pasadena. That was the dream. I traded it in for more realistic and stable pursuits, but I don't think I'll ever let this particular dream go.

In dreams begin responsibilities, and I'm still searching for where I belong. I only hope it involves art in some way, some form. The Norton Simon Museum recently had a job opening in their curatorial department of their Southeast Asian and Indian Collections. (!) I applied. Maybe someday I'll be qualified for it. I don't think I have much experience as far as classes, seminars, and research in Southeast Asian art, but its nice to day dream about what could be.

Curatorial - Southeast Asian and Indian collections, Full Time

We seek an experienced and qualified person to oversee and curate the superb Norton Simon Asian collection, one which spans two millennia and which is primarily comprised of sculpture, but also textiles, metalwork, paintings on paper, and decorative arts from the Indian subcontinent, the Himalayas, China, Sri Lanka and Southeast Asia. Responsibilities will include general oversight of this collection's permanent installation, as well as contributing to the temporary exhibition schedule. Duties also involve researching, updating and approving bibliographic and content information for the collection in all media, including audio guide text, web entries, labels, brochures, newsletters, press releases, exhibition catalogues and all other museum publications pertaining to the Asian collection. In consultation with Chief Curator and Conservator, this position will also regularly survey the collection and provide input and recommendations on general status of the condition and display of the objects.

Salary and level within the curatorial structure will be commensurate with academic credentials and prior museum and/or teaching experience. This is a full time position, with full benefits, including medical, dental, vision, life insurance and a pension plan.

Please submit resume or questions by email or post to:

Chief Curator
Norton Simon Museum
411 West Colorado Boulevard, Pasadena, CA 91105-1825
or email to artresume@nortonsimon.org

No telephone inquiries please.

Lost - The End is Near

Before I embark on some major catalog writing for the current curatorial project, "Fractions," I had to do one blog about the television show, Lost. I have followed the television creator, J.J. Abrams, from the shows Felicity to Alias and I have loved them all - Lost being my absolute favorite, hands down. J.J. decided to end Lost at season 6, since the latter shows did kind of drag on. Lost seems to be created by a larger design, as if they already knew what the ending would be when they first began writing the pilot episode.

The final episodes (4 to be exact) are upon us, and I wonder if everything will come together like pieces of a puzzle -six years in the making. Will all of our questions be answered? I'm pretty sad about the end since I only began watching the show during season 4, in 2007-2008 where episodes like "The Constant" defined the heart of the show - fate vs. free will, and of course time travel. I did some major catching up during the summer of 2008, but it would have been great if I discovered it earlier. The end is coming too soon and it still does not feel like enough time to tie all the stories together with a pretty little bow that will satisfy every fan - which is fine since I don't really like bows. If its left open ended, I'd be content with that too.

In the first season, Locke described the game of backgammon holding up a black and white piece to represent the whole premise of the show where dualities would be reflected in people and situations. Earlier episodes have shown that a con man (Sawyer) and a fugitive (Kate) could still have a heart, by acting compassionately toward their fellow survivors of Oceanic Flight 815. A spinal surgeon, (Jack) as talented and resourceful as he is suffers from a controlling god complex, thinking everyone he 'saves' owes him their life. Perhaps the island was a new chance for many of them, to disregard their past life and embrace their fresh, new start.

The best episode of this season (6) was "Ab Aeterno," which is Latin for "from eternity." The phrase is used to mean "since the beginning" or "for long ages." Questions about the mysterious Richard Alpert are answered about his inability to age, and his history. It also showed a second scene between Jacob and the man in black - probably my favorite because as much as they hate each other, they still can be polite and greet each other with "good morning" or "hello." They are respectively and appropriately dressed in black and in white. Its seems to be a civil opposition since they can't seem to kill each other on the spot. Like the game of chess, they can only defeat each other through strategic movements. As much as I wish season 6 episodes were like "Ab Aeterno," each episode showed through flash sideways (since we've already had flashbacks and flashforwards), characters were destined to meet regardless if Ocean flight 815 crashed or not. It was destiny for Claire and Kate to meet, just like it was destiny for Sawyer to meet Kate a second time stating that "it looks like someone is trying to be bring us together," in the last episode, "The Last Recruit."

I've read several theories (not spoilers!) on how the show will end, pointing to Jack, as the Candidate, the one to take Jacob's place as the protector of the island. The last episode made me think that Jack would possibly join the darkside, but then I realized, there could be a rumble, a true showdown between good and evil, the former man of god and the man of science. "Flocke" (Fake Locke) as they have been referring to the "Man in Black"/smoke monster in the blogsphere, may have the power to manipulate Jack just by speaking to him, as he had done with Claire and Sayid, but his powers have yet to work on Sawyer, Kate, or Miles. Perhaps potential candidates are immune to his powers.

This is my theory. If Lost is this huge, eternal chess game, then two individuals would be left to represent the light side and the dark side - the light constantly working to keep the dark from leaving the island. The game would 'reset' and old players and new players will be brought in for another round. As Eloise Hawkins has said in "The Constant," the universe has a way of 'course correcting' itself, so whoever the players are cannot escape their fate. It certainly feels like the Lost candidates never really had free will in the first place if everything they did was contigent upon a chance meeting and touch by Jacob. I hope they explain the implications of Jacob's touch, besides the explanation that it makes them candidates.


The cliffside cave earlier this season revealed potential candidates to take Jacob's place and protect the island:
8 - Reyes
15 - Ford
16 - Jarrah
23 - Shephard
42 - Kwon

I have this strange feeling that they might all end up staying on the island, because what kind of life will they really return to if so much of their fate was devoted to this mystical and magical place? Jack couldn't seem to leave in the last episode showing how the former "man of science," has evolved into someone that believes in fate and destiny. Perhaps some of them will feel the desire to protect this place as Jacob had.

Do you have any thoughts or theories? No spoilers please, since I'm anti-spoilage. Just your personal thoughts and theories. Post them here. :)

Curatorial Project: Salynrho - Initiated.

Salynrho -- Salvador Dominguez, Lyn Watanabe, & Rhoda Dizon.

Curatorial project "Salynrho" was formed by three artists/curators enrolled in art gallery management class (Art34 ab) at El Camino College. Lyn and I intended to curate a solo art show by Salvador Dominguez, a graduate of the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. After rejection, after rejection by L.A. galleries, we finally found a venue for the exhibition! It almost seemed fated that Lyn found a space that fit the dimensions of Sal's work perfectly.

It's official. Before I enter the teacher credential program in the fall, I'll get to chase my dream and curate a great, contemporary and complex solo art exhibition. I am mostly excited about the catalog where I can actually put my literary journalism degree to use:) I will post more updates as our project progresses on.

Look out for a solo art exhibition called, "Fractions," by Salvador Dominguez.

Tentative Dates: June 5-19th, 2010.

Location: Urban: Sanctuary. Los Angeles, CA.

5 Year Plan/Bucket List Revised

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg

I must admit, I've been feeling like this lately --especially in my curatoral pursuits. Rejection after rejection, I have new found respect for what independent curators must endure without the attachments of institutions that give them the connections and funding to curate.

The success of our dreams wouldn't feel as worth it without putting in a good fight or two in. Or, I'd like to think so. I promised myself a long time ago that I'd chase my dreams for as long as can. Now I understand that if I'm consistently passionate about it, I won't give up.

Welcome to my bucket list. It may exceed my time frame of a 5 year plan, but its my list, and I'll do what I want! lol

1. Have a solo exhibition before I'm 30 years old -- although this is subject to change depending on how long it takes for my work to evolve, for me to be satisfied with my original style, theme, mission statement, premise, cause, etc.

2. Become a teacher in art, art history, or social sciences in high school. --> A current work in progress.

3. Get an M.F.A. or M.A. in art history.

4. Work at a newspaper or magazine.

5. Work at a gallery or museum.

6. Work at a school. --> Done. Yay for librarians!

7. Work as an ARTIST. This is a farfetched goal in my family, but it would be cool to have a commission or two involving a mural to advocate for a cause I am passionate about. :)

8. Get my Ph.D. in art history or cultural studies and become a professor. --> It will probably remain on my list forever. lol

9. Take a tour to Europe to actually see all the paintings and architecture I studied while at UCI. Until I'm an established teacher or whatever it is I'm meant to do, traveling will have to take a backseat to my priorities.

10. Buy a time share in Las Vegas or Hawai'i for my parents. I want them to retire in luxury and style!

That is all. I'm sure I have more but they're on my other notebook to-do lists. :)

Disneyland Lessons

I officially want an annual pass now. This place never seems to cease from making me feel like a kid again. Perhaps I am just a big kid at heart. I finally bought my yoda backpack, after a year and half of contemplation. I was indecisive the last time I went to Disneyland if I should get him because I wasn't sure when I'd use it. I regreted not buying him the first time so this was my chance. He is named Yoda Fitzpatrick Bomb Dizon. Middle names, Fitzpatrick given by Diana, and Bomb my Malyn. Yoda F. Bomb! He will be very happy in Walnut.

Ryan teaches me something new and exciting about Disneyland everytime we go there-- such as the Enchanted Tiki Room was the first to use audio automatronics. They're talking birds that move and sing, and work off of prerecorded moves and sounds. This is a trademarked form of robotics created by Disney imagineering. I love the Tiki Room, but I must admit, the singing flowers make me feel like I'm on hallucinogens!

If walking into Disneyland is like walking into a movie theater, the gates represent the entrance while the tunnel decorated with preview movie posters are like the theater walls with movie posters also. If Disneyland itself is a movie experience, then the credits would not be at the end of the film (or theme park in this case), but are scattered all over buildings of Mainstream U.S.A., as inscriptions to Elias Disney, Frank G. Wells, designers of the Haunted Mansion, and so many more people that have contributed to building a place of happiness for all people.

Going to all of the Disney art galleries made me realize I need to start doing some art for myself. Its been so long since I've done anything substantial. There was so much talent and innovation by artists in each gallery that derive inspiration by the theme park itself. I aspire to have their skill, imagination and unique vision. There were even Disney landscapes by Thomas Kinkade that were so vibrant and rich. This must be a signal that I need to paint and draw again. I have been caught up pursuing teaching, writing, and my new curatorial project --Salynrho. I forget to make time for one of the things that make me feel centered and at peace. I think Disneyland really inspired me because of all the lands, intricate narratives, imagineering, fireworks, shops, art, music, great food, attractions, architecture, landscape, and attention to detail. You can just tell Walt Disney infused so much love, affection, and sentimentality in this place. He loved the work he did, and that emanates even to this very day to the people that visit Disneyland. Disneyland was his artwork, treasure, and gift to the world.

Main Street, U.S.A. Frontierland. Critter Country. New Orleans Square. Adventureland. Mickey's Toontown. Fantasyland. Tomorrowland. All lands I find magical and endearing.
I can't help but have my favorites in Adventureland and Tomorrowland. I really want to live up to my Sagittarian nature and be an adventurer of all lands. I love Indiana Jones and Star Wars too, so that is self explanatory!

I guess going back to the title of the blog, visiting this place with my best friends made me learn -- happiness is indeed contagious. I really love being around positivity and happy people. I love learning about new things constantly. Its uplifting. I've been so busy with school, work, and projects that I haven't had time to reflect. I haven't even had time to do art, which makes me feel a bit outside of myself. Here's to making more great memories with awesome friends in 2010, and making time to create some art. Here's to keeping only positive energy and optimism in my life, tossing negativity and crisis out the window. I hope this happiness sticks with me for a good while. :)

"Is a singer, an artist?"

“Is a singer, an artist?” was a question my lovely friend, Diana, posed while we were dining at Coconut Bay after the 101 Cup Thoughts exhibition. We pondered our mid-20 something lives with good conversation about love, empowerment, and ambition, consuming great Thai food, and of course beer. She handled her usual dosage of blue moon with that really cute orange slice garnish, while I, only needing one Tsing Tao to feel wonderfully buzzed (lightweight!), began to feel comfortable about contemplating such general yet thought provoking questions.

At that moment, I thought about her question and a memory of Diana flashed in my mind of her, singing “Foolish Games” by Jewel when she was 16 or 17 years old. She was in show choir, and she performed this song during some Spring high school showcase. Dressed in all black with dark rimmed glasses behind a wooden podium beneath the warm lights, I couldn’t see the emotion in her face as she seemed shy enough to deliberately hide her eyes from the world. I definitely felt the raw pain in her mellifluous voice while listening to the lyrics “Excuse me, think I’ve mistaken you for somebody else, somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself.” It was a song about being in love with someone who was possibly elitist or selfish – and not being able to stop loving them. I wondered if it was a crime to want someone like ourselves? Someone who cared about something other than themselves and had the same important values as us. Someone who wouldn’t play these cyclical “foolish games.” Diana sang it with what felt like real heart breaking conviction of adoration, pain, and pity. She moved one of the audience members to tears.

Then my mind darted off to Lady Gaga’s performance of her song “Paparazzi” during MTV’s Video Music Awards last September. It was less about singing, and more of an art installation and performance. It put me in shock, but I knew the performance was a re-enactment of Princess Diana’s death and how the relentless and inhumane paparazzi kept snapping photos as she lay dying in the shattered car. To Lady Gaga, Diana was the most devastating and iconic martyr of fame. That woman died because of her fame. They banked on her misfortune. At the end of the performance, Lady Gaga had blood dripping from her ribcage screaming at the media vultures- the song’s namesake. She tells a real story about pop culture and society. Is this shocking performance art necessary? Though it has been subjected to much criticism, Lady Gaga couldn’t care less. Perhaps, she is an extreme example of how a singer can be an artist, but she definitely transcends different mediums of art to convey her message. I love this quote from a Barbara Walters interview with Lady Gaga. Her biggest misconception- “That I am artificial and attention seeking, when the truth is that every bit of me is devoted to love and art….I aspire to try to be a teacher to my young fans. Who felt just like I felt when I was younger. I felt like a freak. I want to liberate them. I want to free them from their fears and make them feel that they could create their own space in the world.” Unapologetic, bold, and daring- qualities about Lady Gaga, and artists in general I find so beautiful.

Thinking about the question, “Is a singer an artist?” now, sans alcohol, my answer is simply yes, without a doubt. Labeling oneself an artist is a general umbrella for all creative people –painters, sculptors, dancers, singers, culinary artists, martial artists, gardeners, writers, etc. To be an artist, is to have something inside that we need to express to the world whether it is in the form of a song, drawing or a bonsai tree. I have nothing but the utmost respect and affection for other artists, and their dedication. To sing is to pour emotion, soul and heart into a song that can constantly mean something else depending on the way it is sung. It is a permeable medium that can molded and shaped by every unique vocalist who encounters an inspiring cover, and decides to make it their own as well. It is a piece of ourselves we leave for no specific audience to experience. For artists like Lady Gaga, she makes her songs from scratch writing her own lyrics and music- which is very impressive. I’m idealistic in thinking all artists are true to their work, always original, and inspired. The effort to create is admirable in itself. For my fellow shy friends, creative expression is freedom to be who we are without shame or hesitance in front of other people. Perhaps Lady Gaga was also referring to shy people who feel like freaks sometimes- freaks she wants to liberate to be themselves and be proud despite outside judgement.

This was way longer than I thought it was going to be. That’s usually the case when I write.
What better way to end this blog with a quote from my favorite hip hop artist, Common.

“I just want to encourage each and every person that’s out there, to stay faithful. Faithful to the most high. Faithful to yourself and what you believe in. Faithful to your art, and your culture, and your people. Stay faithful."

Common "Faithful" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIS4IWUPszc

101 Cup Thoughts

(Photo by: Lyn Watanabe)

I find it interesting that a simple concept can become such a profound experience. Though there were tangible things created such as the cups and plates with images of the artist's home, the concept of social interaction is also art in itself. Nicola Atkinson took the idea of a "Fika," a coffee break with cake in Sweden (much like the tea time in England) and created a project to connect people together from two countries. During a Fika (break) at work, employees must stay together to drink coffee, eat cake and socialize with one another. Thus, their connection to one another grows beyond a working relation, but potential friendships as well. I admire this concept because sometimes people are so busy at work or at home to find the time to be in touch with people- who they are, and what they're doing at the moment. Nicola explores the idea of "how do we take our coffee?" Do we take it on the go, paying more attention to our social devices-computers, cell phones, iphones, etc. rather than the actual live company we keep? Would we be more productive individuals if we took a break from the world around us, to really know each other, even for just fifteen minutes? This idea reminded me of a poetry session I went to in Eagle Rock-Imix Bookstore, where a young, but very articulate man called our generation "socially connected, but personally alone."

Nicola's project began in Lidkoping, Sweden, in August 15, 2009, where one hundred and one people had taken fika together. The cups they drank from would then be sent to Los Angeles at the Municipal Art Gallery for another one hundred and one people to drink from while taking a fika- enforcing the idea of drinking from another person's cup, exchanging physical objects, tangible ideas, and generating dialogue with new people. Nicola assigned a name and number to each Los Angeles participant, matching them up with someone with Sweden according to their preferences and requests. I was number sixty-three- Lorena. She had requested a woman in her thirties named Lorena as well, which was quite impossible for Nicola. Lorena from Sweden is a ceramics student, who is alot of fun. Nicola paired us together because we have the same kind of energy.

[(Taken from Nicola's website) Some of the participants wanted a person in Los Angeles just like themselves, imagining what it might to be like to be there, while others were quite particular: a male vegan with a beautiful mustache, a social psychologist, a jazz musician, an environmentalist, a fisherman, a music therapist. Many were just open to someone new and unknown. As might be expected, she did receive four requests for famous people: Clint Eastwood, Sam Elliot, Sam Harris and Kat von D.] Clint Eastwood would have been at our table (6) if he was available. That would have been an interesting Fika experience! My table brought interesting props such as a deck of cards to play black jack, a ceramic fish centerpiece filled with bourbon (!), and a vase of flowers. It was indeed a great time with new people. We talked about how we all got involved with the project and our connection- whether close or distant with the artist, Nicola. It made me feel connected to everyone, in some way, to some degree.

I especially enjoyed the vibes in coffee shop/house built in the gallery. Nicola's idea being that there usually is a coffee shop built into an art gallery to provide additional funding for the institution. Why not create the coffee shop as an individual artwork by the artist representing the exchange of ideas and conversation? To re-iterate what I've said in the beginning, this social interaction is art in itself. I loved how the rounded shelves resembled large cake tiers. I was also strangely drawn to the pillows on the wall of the coffee shop as well. It gave it a comfortable, cozy, home feeling to it. Perhaps, that was her intention in the coffee shop- to make us relax and take a fika from the world to appreciate the simple pleasures in life, like coffee, cake and some good conversation.

A Slice of Arts Activism

In March of 2009, the art history department of UC Irvine voted to cut off funding of their own art history library called the Visual Resources Collection. The school of humanities laid off their own curators, who guided me through a year long research project consisting of South Asian and Cuban architectural photography. This library contained thousands of slides, textbooks, websites, and digital images that were accessible to art history professors as well as students. Because of the budget cuts, an important educational resource was taken away from those that needed it the most, resources that enriched their lives. The last sentences one of the former curators said to me, was that art history was becoming an obsolete major.

In August 2009, the dean of the art department at Mt. San Antonio College in Walnut, CA cancelled the exhibition design class, halting the gallery design and operations management certificate due to low enrollment. This was also an attempt to cut every corner to adhere to a more stringent budget. Although I had lost all hope in chasing a career as a curator, I took up my professor's offer to go to El Camino College in Torrance, and enrolled in his art gallery management class.

Yesterday, Los Angeles voted on critical issues that involved the only funding source for the Department of Cultural Affairs. Parks and galleries like the Los Angeles Municipal Art Gallery at Barnsdall Park were in jeopardy. I spent hours volunteering at this gallery and participated in one open call. Needless to say, it is very near and dear to my heart. Luckily, the The Los Angeles City Council decided not to vote on the motion to eliminate the Department of Cultural Affairs' sole source of dedicated funding. Their funding is secure for the moment. Thank goodness.

Every time something like this happens, my heart breaks a little -piece by piece. All we can do is fight, write, and hope the arts survive and triumph against this unyielding economy. I know I probably sound really idealistic, but I truly believe in those who pursue a career in the arts or art history deserve a successful place in the real world to convey their unique message. Perhaps Professor Burnes was correct when she said that this was the best time to be an artist or curator. Its a challenging, and rigorous time to turn a negative situation into a positive one through art. With resilience and courage, it could be done.

In the words of Journey, I won't stop believing.

Reasons

There are many places for me to write - my myspace (which is so dated now), my facebook, my comp book, my mini-note book of lists, Microsoft word, etc. Everytime I am compelled to write, it is rather lengthy, wordy, and deserves a space of its own. I guess I just wanted a place for the sole purpose to be one with my writing, one with my thoughts without too much distraction. Feedback is also welcomed and appreciated in this blogspot space to create dialogue, the genesis of thought provoking ideas, etc. Your thoughts are just important as my thoughts. I created this blog for the following reasons as well:

1) To get better at writing. Although I have a degree in literary journalism, I was not the best student. I was mostly average. It was a difficult major that surpassed the fundamentals of journalism, which are the very basics I tend to forget. I believe writing is a life long process. You only get better if you continue to write, and make time for the practice. I love to write, but I believe that I still have much to work on. Here's to writing improvement skills in 2010!

2) All I ever wanted to write about in my journalism classes was art. I gravitated towards museums, exhibitions, cultural events. I wanted to begin an art blog, to vent about how the arts are poorly prioritized these days. Then I realized knowing me, and my scatter brained thoughts, I'll probably find a way to write about other topics I care deeply for.

3) "Once More, With Feeling" is the title of this blog. It is also the title of a Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode (Season 6, Episode 7) where a mysterious force impels Buffy and the Scooby Gang (the name of her entourage) to burst into song, revealing their true feelings. I can only hope to be as honest, passionate, yet also filtered through my writing.

So it begins... the genesis of endless chronicling.

Mike Sager: A writer writes. Writing is editing. Less is more. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.